FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of itGOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It’s a natural cycle of life.ST. FRANCIS: You’d better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites. I'll have something for you to eat when youget there. That will kill two birds with one stone, you'll get tolearn to walk in your pretty heels and you won't have to wait toeat supper." She started the car and drove off. He started mincing his wayhome. Halfway home he was sweating profusely. He had stopped atthree bus stop benches to rest and still his legs were killing him.He had all of his weight on his toes and his calves were hurtingimmensely. Over an hour later he was at the front door. It was locked so herang the bell. It took Mary over four minutes to open the door. Shesaid she was just putting the cheese on her cheeseburgers. He made it into the dining area and sat down. She asked if he hada nice stroll coming home and he didn't answer her. She set a bowlof lettuce salad in front of him with a fork. Then she sat downwith her two cheeseburgers and French fries. She told him a womanhas to watch her waistline and salads are the best way to do that.His salad.
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